Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Environmental Ditz of 2008

For the final night of 2008 I thought it only appropriate to present, who I consider, the Environmental Ditz of the Year, but first must put forth a disclaimer that I am feeling cozy on Veuve Clicquot and may have stronger opinions than usual. But what the heck. It's New Years Eve for God's sake.

Drum roll, please. Since the Bush's, Cheney's and Palin's have all had their 15 minutes of fame in their defamation of the environment I am giving the award to Minnesota Congress Member Michele Bachmann. Now, I'm not sure if she has kids, or if they play hockey, but this chick is a drill-baby-drill, lip sticked pig who was separated at birth from Sarah Palin. According to Bachmann, climate change is simply fanaticism by Nancy Pelosi and liberal extremists trying to save the world. "We all know that someone did that over 2,000 years ago, they saved the planet- we didn't need Nancy Pelosi to do that." What the %$&# is she taking about?! Is she telling us that God saved the planet 2,000 years ago? God saving the planet makes as much sense as Sarah Palin calling herself a feminist (by the way, congratulations Bristol on the arrival of Tripp-y). Yeah, I'm sure that God is real proud of Hummers, Walmart and Nemo drowning on plastic bags floating throughout the hydrosphere. If you really think that God saved the planet 2,000 years ago then I'm guessing he's pretty pissed off at what we've done with all his hard work.

Additionally, Ms. Bachmann believes that she is the reason that our gas prices have taken a dive. Wow. I wonder if she also walks on water. Again, what the %$&#?! I'm sorry to keep comparing her to Sarah Palin but there really does seem to be a vein of familiarity in these two congressional sorority sisters. Can't ya just imagine Palin throwin' out a "you betcha" at Bachmann's comments? I'm thinking that there is a God after all since Obama managed to beat the skirt off Ms. Waisila and her running mate.

Well, that's all I have to say about that. Here is to a new year. A new start. A new president. A new hope of changing where we are heading. I truly believe we are at the tipping point. We either get our shit together or we eventually go down. In the end, the earth will win. She will flick us off this planet like lint off a bad suit. But maybe, just maybe, we can pull it together quick enough to scale back on the damage we have done. And just maybe we can spend 2009 heading in a new direction.

Happy New Year!

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